After that big freakin’ snowstorm we had a few weeks back, who’d-a-thunk it would be so warm and sunny in February, like it was last week? Sure, by the time you read this, it’ll probably be raining and snowing all over again but, in the meantime, I’m enjoying the summerlike weather here at my stately home whilst I wrestle over the latest income tax forms. No doubt the taxman will clean me out again, just like he did last year.
“The taxman’s taken all my dough and left me in my stately home, lazing on a sunny afternoon. And I can’t sail my yacht, he’s taken everything I’ve got. All I’ve got’s this sunny afternoon…” (“Sunny Afternoon” – The Kinks – 1967)
What’s almost as annoying as these tax forms is this dang woodpecker that’s been banging on the side of the stately Motley Manor all morning. Why, I oughta grab my trusty Daisy Red Ryder and plug him right between the eyes. But, no, I’m a peace-loving kind of guy, so I’ll just keep on banging on the wall back at him until he flies away.
I’ve been filling out my own tax forms and mailing them to the IRS and Franchise Tax Board ever since I made enough dough to require doing so back in the mid-60s, but last year I finally broke down and had TurboTax figure out how much I owe. The only drawback is having to add up all the all the income and expense figures before sending them to TurboTax. I’ll do the same this year.
In the past, I was reluctant to put any of my financial information out on the Internet out of fear that it could end up in the wrong hands and have my identity and hard-earned dough stolen. In case you haven’t heard, over 150,000 online taxpayers have already been bamboozled out of their tax refunds…not that I was expecting a refund. How would you like to attempt claiming a refund after sending in your Internet tax form, only to have the IRS write you back to tell you that your refund has already been claimed? TurboTax claims to have a secure website…so far, so good.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying the summerlike weather as I sit here sipping my lemonade…all right, so it’s not really lemonade…on this sunny afternoon. This weather’s so nice, it feels like summertime and, if I had a yacht, I’d sail away. But, no, a yacht is one thing I haven’t got; although, I occasionally got to sail a ketch on Newport Bay back in the ‘60s when I was in the Sea Scouts.
“Help me, help me sail away. Well, give me two good reasons why I oughta stay, cause I love to live so pleasantly, live this life of luxury, lazing on a sunny afternoon, in the summertime, in the summertime…”
Keep it flyin’, Uncle Mott