Happy Honda Days

It seems like the Christmas shopping season begins earlier and earlier each year, and this year is no exception…excuse me, I meant to say “Holiday” shopping season, and I only say that because it’s grown politically incorrect to say “Christmas” because some sensitive folks might be offended, even though ‘tis the season meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Never mind that Jesus wasn’t born at Christmastime…excuse me, I meant to say “Holidaytime,” but as some noted theologians suggest, in the springtime, since it was said that shepherds were watching over their flocks in the fields on the night of His birth. Confused…me, too.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, Christmas shopping…sorry to be politically incorrect, but, as an old school kind of guy, I tend to follow tradition. This year, I noticed that the annual Holiday/Christmas (take your pick) shopping blitz began the week before Halloween. Retailers couldn’t even wait for Thanksgiving to end before extending their store hours and offering their “Giant Holiday Sale” promotion.

This year’s seasonal promotions kicked off on “Red Wednesday,” a day when most merchants are still in the “Red” (no profits for the year). And they couldn’t wait for “Black Friday,” the first day of the year they’re finally in the “Black” (showing a profit). Many retailers even stayed open on Thanksgiving Day, which is now known as “Gray Thursday” (when some are still in the “Red,” while others are now in the “Black”).

Nowadays, many retailers begin stocking their shelves with “seasonal goods” – Christmas cards, gift wrap, tree ornaments, etc. – and rolling out their plastic or metallic Christmas trees around Halloween time. This year, I heard the first Christmas carols on the radio about a week before Thanksgiving, followed by the annual barrage of cringingly crass TV and radio ads like this one from a popular car manufacturer, whose name I shan’t mention, but I think we all know who it is…

“Happy Honda Days. Oh, a holiday, and it’s the best one of the year.” (Traditional)

Speaking of cringingly crass, how about this next one. “Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Come on and celebrate the holiday-ay, ay, ay, ays, the holiday-ay, ay, ay, ays. Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Come and celebrate the Hyundai Holidays.” (Traditional)

Talk about politically incorrect – these preceding holiday car commercials take the cake for crass commercialism.

I guess by now you get the idea that crass Christmas commercials and generic holiday greetings are totally uncool and that it’s still OK to wish folks a merry or happy whatever holiday they wish to celebrate, no matter whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Well, it’s time to start my holiday shopping…excuse me, I meant to say Christmas shopping.

Keep it flyin’, Uncle Mott