Mountain Musings


It’s Good To Be King


If you’ve been following the local news outlets and TV news, you may have seen there is a proposal to make San Bernardino County the country’s 51st state. This proposal is championed by millionaire Rancho Cucamonga real estate developer Jeff Burum, who wants the county to secede from the state of California. Afterall, the county is larger than all of New England, larger in size than 12 states and its 2.2 million population is greater than that of 15 other states.


Noting that the state of California allocates most of its resources to other counties, Burum, who recently pitched his idea to the board of supervisors says, “It’s time for our citizens to stand up and say, ‘Enough is enough.’” His next action is to put his proposal on the November ballot. If successful in the election, it would then have to be approved in the state Legislature, as well as Congress. If it does pass muster, he plans to name the new state “Empire.”


Whether fact or folly, it could happen and, if it does, I plan to run for the office of Emperor of Empire, or perhaps the King of Empire. And I’ll tell you what, every person who votes for me will get free pizza (you’ll have to buy your own beer). But this can’t happen without your support, so send those checks… cash is preferred… to Emperor Mott the First at P.O. Box 1, The Tropic of Sir Galahad.


It’s good to be king, if just for a while, to be there in velvet, yeah, to give ‘em a smile. Yeah, the world would swing, oh, if I were king. Can I help it if I still dream time-to-time. It’s good to be king and have your own way, get a feeling of peace at the end of the day. And when your bulldog barks and your canary sings, you’re out there with the winners, it’s good to be king. (“It’s Good To Be King” – Tom Petty – 1994)


My first action as emperor or king is to declare Crestline the Capital of Empire, only I will change the name to Mottsville. The stately Motley Manor would serve as a temporary governor’s mansion… Hey, Jerry Brown resided in a flat around the corner from the State Capitol in Sacramento for a while, where he was shacked up with Linda Ronstadt. Don’t worry, I’ll stay shacked up with Empress Rhea-Frances until we can find better digs.


If this drought keeps up and Lake Gregory… excuse me, Lake Mottsville… loses most of its water, perhaps I could have a new emperor’s mansion on the island in the middle of where the former lake was located, and whatever water is left could become a moat festooned with protective snapping turtles.


“Yawn, good morning, Empress Rhea-Frances. What do you mean you’re not an empress. What, this was all just a dream and I’m no emperor or king?”


Yeah, I’ll be king when dogs get wings. Can I help it if I still dream from time-to-time?


Keep it flying’, Emperor… er, uh Uncle Mott