I, among many of us who live here in Crestline and who live near the main streets, are daily terrorized by several beast trucks. No, not your average contractor type trucks or Mom driving truck women. They are OK to live with, I suppose, although quite honestly their trucks could do with some noise reduction and slowing down too.
My count is four regular beasts, you know, the overly loud, revving, black smoke emitting, screaming through large multiple point intersections with no regard for Stop Signs type beasts. Two are black trucks, one with a white gate; one is dark green; and one is dark grey. Not to mention the ever-increasing amount of the Super Beasts, those automobiles that should only be heard on a NASCAR racing track.
Need we gather in small groups to plan our own attack? Shall we block the roads and swoop in upon them in a heroic blockade of Subarus, Toyotas and Scions until authorities finally arrive? Do we throw our own bodies into the streets to block their way and put an end to this never-ending madness? It seems it may take a death in order to have authorities of any kind begin to take it seriously.
Or do we calmly wait to see them parked at the post office and offer our kind guidance and try to talk it over in a loving friendly type of way? You know, “I’m so sorry for your loneliness and the need for attention. You poor thing, you must’ve been quite neglected as a small child. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I’d love your help with this, or at the very least, an honest opinion.
And no, you can’t just tell me to either move away or start wearing headphones 24/7!
Sad and Tortured in Crestline
Dear Sad and Tortured,
Hey, I’m with ya! In my opinion, our little village has become a Monster Truck paradise for irresponsible redneck wanna-bes. Dang it all, the distance from the three-way stop at the top of Lake Drive at Arosa and Dart Canyon to the three-way stop at Knapp’s Cutoff at Highway 138 heading into the Valley of Enchantment is maybe a measly two miles. Gall darn, don’t these evil truck drivers have enough patience to drive respectfully at the reasonable speed limit of 20 to 30 mph through a residential area winding around a lovely lake, through a quaint small town with one four-way stop for two leisurely Sunday drive miles?
I say, “Slow down, shut up, and smell the roses, man!”
Now, as far as the presence of the authorities goes, I do read here in the Alpine Mountaineer each week the Sheriff’s Log and I’m impressed to find that unlicensed drivers, intoxicated drivers and the like are actually booked, their cars impounded. There is, therefore, the presence of law and order here in our hillbilly hollow.
Be active! Get the license plate numbers of the culprits as best you can. Report your grievances to the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Station and to the Running Springs CHP office. With your phone film the beasts as they rattle and bang their way through your neighborhood. Be vigilant, but not a vigilante!
I don’t mean to speak lightly of your plight. Here at the Indy 500 blind corner in front of my driveway, I dream of laying down spikes, but I’ve been warned I could get in a bunch of trouble over that.
Please don’t abandon us. Stay and help to make our little hamlet a piece of heaven on earth.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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