Dear Sidney – 06/13/2024

Jun 12, 2024 | Dear Sidney

My intuition is working overtime here. As I am of the male species, I’m surprised that my intuition has kicked in at all.

I’m very much into a widow I met at the senior luncheons here in Crestline. At her suggestion, it didn’t take long for us to become intimate. Besides the inquisition by my grown children, it seems that the neighbors are keeping track of her overnights at my cabin.

I’m retired and set up pretty darned well. I don’t relish being taken advantage of, no matter how happy I am to see her, as the saying goes. But she’s getting pretty darned pushy. She says that I don’t love her or deserve her attention if I don’t have her move in and support her and, of course, put a ring on her finger for all the gray-hairs to ogle over at the San Moritz Lodge luncheon. Honestly, she’s starting to scare me.

Is it best that I change the channel and put an end to this made-for-TV movie, where the unsuspecting good guy gets bludgeoned with his own axe? 

Paranoid in Paradise 

Dear Paranoid,

Well, I’ll be darned. If our seniors are hooking up, things are looking up on our mountain. Gosh darned, suddenly I’m expecting “The A” burger joint to open up any moment. Although, as the theme for Crestline seems to be the Swiss Alps, why don’t we have at the very least a Der Wienerschnitzel in town?

But to answer your question, a needy female who uses her sexual prowess to corner an innocent good guy into communal living is to be examined very closely. Watch out! The widow may be slipping a love potion into your mashed potatoes at lunch.

Turn off the Lifetime Movie reruns and move on. There’s more fish to fry.

I sure wish we could all meet at a schnitzel sit down. You know, in the 70s there was a fine German/Swiss restaurant in the Valley of the Moon. I remember it well. 

Sidney 

Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.

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