Dear Sidney,
This problem has me almost ready to quit my job!
My co-worker tells me how handsome my husband is, how lucky I am to have him and even how much she loves him!! Is that crazy or what? I swear, if I hear it one more time, I think I’m going to rip her hair out!
At first I was, like, “I know. Isn’t he great?” But now I’m getting super irritated. Why is she doing this? I am happily married. Why doesn’t she find her own man?
Seething in Cedar Glen
Dear Seething,
Your jealous co-worker is violating God’s 10th commandment. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your co-worker’s husband; nor her male servant, nor her female servant, nor her ox, nor her donkey . . .”
You are right to be upset. Her excessive desire for what belongs to another begins in the heart and her covetous behavior is proof that she is watching way too many Lifetime movies.
Have some sympathy for the poor gal. Embrace her evil desire to see you gone! Time permitting, engage her in conversation focused on every breathing moment of your life with wonder boy. Share the raw, tender moments in intricate detail. Bring photos! Gush over every teeny tiny good deed that the perfect husband accomplishes, including replacing the TP roll and picking up feminine supplies from Stater Bros.
My suggestions may not reap the desired effect, but you’ll have fun watching the sinner squirm.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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