Dear Sidney,

My hairdresser has really bad breath! I love her work, but I can hardly stand it when she talks to me. Should I offer gum, mints and my dental hygienist’s number???

Holding My Breath in Hamiltair

Dear Breathless,

Our mouths are home to trillions of microbes known as our oral micro biome. These microbes include bacteria, viruses and fungi. Most of these are good and keep us healthy; others are harmful and cause diseases: cavities, gum disease and stinky breath.

Your dear hairdresser has contracted something very special: supercalifragilisticexpi-halitosis = extraordinary breath! It’s perfectly okay to offer her a breath mint when you, yourself, enjoy one at the same time.

Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic mandates, the mask is still a popular item for some. Perhaps you can protect your nose by wearing a substantial mask, embellished with stylish rhinestones, of course.

Sidney

Send your questions for Sidney to [email protected] or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.