Dear Sidney

Mar 29, 2023 | Dear Sidney

Dear Sidney,

My hairdresser has really bad breath! I love her work, but I can hardly stand it when she talks to me. Should I offer gum, mints and my dental hygienist’s number???

Holding My Breath in Hamiltair


Dear Breathless,

Our mouths are home to trillions of microbes known as our oral micro biome. These microbes include bacteria, viruses and fungi. Most of these are good and keep us healthy; others are harmful and cause diseases: cavities, gum disease and stinky breath.

Your dear hairdresser has contracted something very special: supercalifragilisticexpi-halitosis = extraordinary breath! It’s perfectly okay to offer her a breath mint when you, yourself, enjoy one at the same time.

Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic mandates, the mask is still a popular item for some. Perhaps you can protect your nose by wearing a substantial mask, embellished with stylish rhinestones, of course.


Send your questions for Sidney to [email protected] or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


groundwerks quarter page ad page 0001
rim bowling center generic 7 11 22 web
audio in english
audio en español

Dear Sidney – 5/25/2023

Dear Sidney,   I have been diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration. My ophthalmologist is injecting shots into both my eyes for relief, although he says that the left eye will not be getting any better as I waited too long to seek treatment. I’m...

Dear Sidney – May 18, 2023

Dear Sidney, I’m still shaking and pounding my fists. What in the heck has got into people? This morning, after feeding peanuts to the very friendly squirrels—there are just two in the family now, as Big Thumper was hit in the head before the snowstorm—and pacifying...

Dear Sidney

Dear Sidney,   Truthfully, I am officially an old maid. Nine years ago, I fell tragically and magically in love with a young, handsome, soulful priest in our parish. I see him as often as I can: weekly Bingo, two Sunday services, and as a frequent flyer in his...