Well, my one-week timeshare vacay at the beach is almost here and my two girlfriends are making plans to join me – for free, of course. They are also letting me know exactly how they want their week at the beach to go! This will be their ninth week at my condo.

We are all too arthritic to ride the bikes to San Clemente, so that’s out. I’m the only one of us that can afford a boat ride to Catalina, so that’s out. Not one of us should be seen in a swimsuit, so sunbathing at the pool or the ocean is definitely out.

Am I being a selfish, crazy old lady for wanting to tell my two dear friends to stay away this year? I think I know what I want to do for the week, and that’s to dine out, read and sleep. No more unmade sofa bed in the living room to trip over. No more “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

Do I have your OK?

Mountain to Sea

Dear Mountain to Sea,

I’m checking my calendar. Yep, it’s an open book! Oh, oh, the better half is shouting from the kitchen, something about “Oh, no, you’re not!” Besides the veto, I understand from your question that this upcoming vacation you want to be alone! Trust me, I’m on the same page and jealous as all get out.

It sounds like you have already committed to this misery. A three-way can be highly stressful, as you will be in charge of keeping the beach buddies occupied and happy, day in and day out.

The bottom line: How important are these friendships and do you want to keep them? I can’t give you my OK. Hang in there this year, but let them know somewhere around St. Patrick’s Day that you’ve decided to do the beach timeshare solo in 2024.

Sidney

Send your questions for Sidney to [email protected] or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.