So, here’s what I know. I know that her lousy husband is beating up a dear friend. We work together at a local real estate office. She’s good at hiding bruises, but not the ones around her ears, neck and wrists. She had at one time confided in me, but then she turns around and denies that anything is wrong.
In the past, she has filed divorce papers, but then he shows up at the office and threatens the bejesus out of her and right in front of the rest of us. We could throttle him, but you know, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. She’s got three kids under the age of 8, so she’s not financially capable of keeping up the homestead, you know? He’s in construction and seems to do very well, well enough to keep her scared straight and totally dependent on the tattooed pig.
You always seem to be able to steer people out of this type of drama. What do you suggest that I do to help her?
Concerned on the Rim of the World
Dear Concerned,
Domestic abuse is rampant in our country. In Oklahoma, on average a person dies from domestic violence about once every five days, so living in California, location is on her side. Seriously, there are many, many venues where your friend can seek help. Not like the old days, when the police turned a blind eye to a married couple’s squabbles.
Advise your friend to go to the local San Bernardino County Social Services office and start the process. They can help her to leave the dangerous situation, secure a place for her and the children to live, and grant financial assistance. She needs to document the violence and visit a doctor to chart her injuries. Also, she can Google women’s shelters near me. It’s a sad state of affairs to be able to Google a safe house.
Of course, she will certainly be reluctant to take your advice, even continue to deny that she is being abused. You are absolutely right: You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Suggest that she contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org: “Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence. When you’re ready, we’re here to listen with confidential support 24/7/365.”
Hugs, kindness and martini lunches are, as always, viable suggestions.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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