Dear Sidney,
I am a single mother of a young lady that I’m so proud of and love so very much. She’s 25 now and has been on her own since she was 18. I’ve never been wealthy and there’s been no father around to fill in the gaps along the way. Very little money has been saved for a wedding.
A very nice young man has come along and my daughter is now engaged. Not his fault, but his parents are well-to-do Lake Arrowhead people, boats docked by the house and all, and the mother has jumped on the wedding wagon real fast like. She began by asking me how much I could kick in for a 150-guest sit-down dinner and dance venue at the Arrowhead country club and NOT the San Moritz Lodge. I suggested that maybe I could come up with $5,000. Well, that offering was pooh-poohed right off the bat. “We’ll be happy to handle the entire affair, dear,” the Mother of the Groom announced in a text message to me.
Immediately, the M.O.G. began sending me links to $5k M.O.B. wedding gowns! She is in charge of the entire kit and caboodle and my daughter is pleased as punch! She has betrayed and abandoned her mother. They even went into Beverly Hills to shop for the wedding dress WITHOUT ME, because I had to work! I’m a total 5th wheel. I’ve lost my only child. Sidney, what can I do?
Mother of the Bride in Crestline
Dear M.O.B.,
Kids today. No loyalty, no respect, no insight, no empathy. It’s plain to see that your little girl has been kidnapped by the promise of a charmed life. Honestly, there may be a coven involved here.
I’ve shopped for you online and found at David’s Bridal in Ontario a bodacious silvery sheath gown for $189! Dust yourself off and head on down there with a gal friend or two to cheer you on. Naturally, there will be cocktails afterward. (But I’d curtail that at the wedding, just to be safe.)
Enjoy this time, because it’s going to get a heck darned worse after the grandchildren arrive!
Head held high, stomach in, shoulders back!
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325. This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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