Dear Sidney,

Every year we host a lavish pool party at our otherwise modest home. We spare no effort in making sure the food is great and the drinks are flowing. For several years we have invited a couple from down the road apiece. They always accept, are very sociable and have a wonderful time.
This couple also has a nice pool (I’ve seen the pictures on social media), and always tells us they will reciprocate and invite us up to the place soon. Then . . . crickets.
What say you?

Flummoxed Flatlander

Dear Flummoxed Flatlander,

The first thought that comes to mind is that you have wisely taken home from your visit to the San Bernardino Mountains an issue of The Alpine Mountaineer in which you have found my advice column. Congratulations on your wise purchase.
The second thought that comes to mind is that you might be receiving your weekly subscription of The Alpine Mountaineer by mail at your pool house down the hill, where it’s more than likely warm enough most of the year to sunbathe while perusing the weekly paper for upcoming Crestline events, such as the Corks & Hops wine, beer and food explosion inside the San Moritz Lodge coming up on February 18, 2023.
Enjoy your luxurious pool parties as voyeuristic Sodom and Gomorrah spectacles, which I can only assume they are. Never expect anything in return for your gracious hospitality, but perhaps a refund from the IRS when you have mistakenly overpaid. Remember, that’s your money!
I do hope to run into you both on the patio of The Stockade Grub and Whiskey, where you can find me sharing a cheeseburger and a dry gin martini with my doggie.

Sidney

Send your questions for Sidney to [email protected] or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.