Dear Sidney,

As we all watch the berms and drifts melt ever so slowly, I hope that you are well and that Cabin Sidney has come out OK after the weight of so much snow.

Here in Crestline, the plowed main street looks like a war zone – the piles of snow now blackened by the asphalt and dirt. But that’s not why I’m writing to you today.

I have a very dear copycat friend, a friend who has her hair cut just like mine, her makeup and lipstick are just like mine. If I show up with a new purse, she demands to know where I got it, so she can get one too. When we meet for lunch, she waits for me to order and then, presto, she orders the exact same thing. “But if you order something different, we could share,” I always say. However, she doesn’t like to share.

If I go to a movie with another girlfriend – who posted the event on Facebook – she loses it and sends me a texting tirade about how I don’t appreciate her friendship to which I rarely respond, which really gets her goat.

Then a few weeks go by and, when she’s cooled off, she literally begs me to meet her for lunch, because she’s dying to know what new outfit I’m wearing and did I get it on Amazon.

Do you have any advice as to how to fix this situation? We are both widows and I really do like her company, but she’s wearing me out.

Tired in Crestline

Dear Tired,

Ah, memories of junior high school, perhaps?

The newest school of thought for lasting friendships instructs one to set your boundaries. Be straightforward, but be kind, which, of course, is not going to work with this one at all, because it seems that your copycat friend, bless her heart, may be extremely insecure and in great need of attention.

The next time you buy a new lipstick, how about buying two? At your next luncheon, present the gift to her and immediately order liver and onions and buttermilk. If she follows suit and orders liver and onions and buttermilk, there’s no fixing this.

Be thankful for having someone to complain about and to spend time with. Many women here on the mountain are alone in their cabins all day long behind a slowly melting wall of snow and ice.

Sidney

Send your questions for Sidney to [email protected] or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.