You may recall an article in the Aug. 17 issue of this newspaper entitled “The California Fair Plan is everything but fair.” No duh! Well, today I’m going to expand on this shameful unfair plan that is being foisted upon the thousands of mountain area homeowners whose existing insurance policies have been arbitrarily canceled.

Not all insurance companies are doing this, but the ones that are yanking your existing homeowners’ insurance policy are doing it because they don’t want to get stuck paying for the damages if your home catches on fire. For Pete’s sake, this is why we have insurance and it’s what insurance companies are supposed to do in the first place.

The California Fair Plan, or what I like to call the “California Unfair Plan,” is just that. Oh, sure, they will pay you for your burned-down home, but not for the expense of removing all the debris and rubble from your property, or the permit you have to get from the county to do so, nor will they pay for your lost personal property, theft, earthquakes, falling objects, freeze damage, flooding or water damage, or personal liability if someone slips on a banana peel and fractures their whatever. This is downright mean!

Well, you can take me down with just one blow, but you don’t know what you don’t know. Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me and all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Why you gotta be so mean? (“Mean” – Taylor Swift – 2010)

OK, so you can get supplemental coverage for some of these non-covered perils, but it’s gonna cost ya, and there are some drawbacks. For instance, the Unfair Plan only covers the loss of your dwelling at cash value, versus actual replacement value, which is more…Doh! And it’ll cost you more to replace detached structures like a garage, porch, shed or a fence. You can also purchase personal property coverage; however, it’s only replaced at actual cash value…Doh! (Homer Simpson)

So, how much does it cost to get the Unfair Plan, you ask? More, lot’s more than your standard home insurance plan. In California, the average homeowner pays $1,428 for $250,000 in dwelling coverage. According to Bankrate.com, homeowners should conservatively expect their homeowner’s insurance rate to be higher than the statewide average…Doh!… Doh!

And, just what can you do about it? You could complain to California Insurance Commissioner Ricardo Lara; it’s worth a try. Ahem… “Trying is the first step toward failure.” (Homer Simpson)

And I can see you years from now in a bar talking over a football game with that same big loud opinion, but nobody’s listening, washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things, drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing, but all you are is mean, all you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life and mean, and mean, and mean and mean.

Keep it flyin’,

Uncle Mott