Sometimes I just want to scream when the phone rings (sometimes I do) because I keep getting these annoying phone calls from a robot named Lisa from Spectrum who wants to upgrade my system…Ahem, I don’t even have a Spectrum system, nor would I ever at this point. However, she’s quite persistent and keeps calling.

Somedays, the phone just rings off the wall…well, not exactly, it’s actually in every room in the house, ‘cept for the bathroom, so I can be equally annoyed wherever I go.  However, when me and my child bride moved up here back in ’76, we had a black, dial telephone attached to the kitchen wall. Sometimes, you’d pick up the phone to make a call and there’d be someone already talkin.’ That’s cuz it was a party line. Sometimes I’d say, “Hi, babe, where’s the party, your place or mine?” and she’d hang up on me.

Here’s some more telephone trivia: Back in the 70s, you only had to dial five numbers to call someone locally. You’d start by dialing 7 to call someone in Lake Arrowhead and 8 to call someone in Crestline. And it was long distance to call Running Springs. That’s cuz they were served by General Telephone, whereas Arrowhead and Crestline were served by Pacific Telephone. By the way, don’t bother calling 867-5309 in Running Springs, you’ll just get a wrong number recording (Don’t bother asking how I already know this). By the way, there’s no one named Jenny at that number.

Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold onto. I know you think I’m like the others before who saw your name on the wall. Jenny, I’ve got your number, I need to make you mine, Jenny, don’t change your number. Eight, six, seven, five, three, oh nine. Eight, six, seven, five, three, oh nine. Eight, six, seven, five, three, oh nine. (“Jenny” – Tommy Tutone – 1981)

What’s even more annoying are the calls I’ve been getting all day long from someone who’s obviously calling from a call center in the Philippines or India, who can barely speak English, who’s trying to sell me a Medicare Advantage Plan. This is especially annoying when they call at 6:30 a.m. OK, so it’s only 3:30 p.m. in Manila and 6:30 p.m. in New Delhi. By the way, this is a scam, especially if they ask for your Social Security number, credit card number or bank routing number.

Then there’s the people who call and want to buy my house. This one’s not necessarily a scam, but they’ll likely pay me peanuts for my home.

Although they’re not a scam, the calls I keep getting from Edison telling me when they will be shutting off my power are also annoying, especially when they already shut my power off twice this month, and now they’re going to do it again on Nov. 3 and 4. I wish they’d stop calling and just bury their dang powerlines.

Keep it flyin’

Uncle Mott