I’m so upset. I’m devastated over the cruel intentions of my boyfriend of two years.
We’re both in our 50s and we’ve both been married before. We don’t live together because I have my teenage daughter living with me and I don’t feel it would be appropriate.
Over the weekend, he unexpectedly surprised me by “popping the question” and presenting me with one heck of a diamond ring. I was sure it was at least four carats. I proudly wore it into work on Monday, where my coworkers were thrilled for me, but insisted that I get that sucker insured ASAP.
I work in Redlands so, before returning to the mountain, I visited three jewelers in the area to assess the value of my beautiful engagement ring. The assessors were very empathetic, even as to offering me comforting hugs.
Still unable to believe the truth, in the parking lot of jeweler no. 3, I sat stunned in my car shaking and crying like a foolish young girl. My boyfriend had given me a gold band with a worthless cubic zirconia marquis diamond set in it.
Should I confront him? Or should I just accept this trickery as one big fat RED FLAG smacked right into my gullible face and walk away?
Saving Face in Twin Peaks
Dear Saving Face,
I’m concerned as to why your boyfriend felt that you would expect an extravagant ring. Why would he damage the respect you must have for him by purposely deceiving you?
You have not given me enough information as to his ability to invest in an expensive diamond ring. Perhaps he is ignorant as to the Old Wives rule that the cost of an engagement ring should match up to three months of his salary; or maybe he does know and took the chance that you would never discover his sordid attempt to appear to be the grandiose provider he is not.
Certainly, you should return the disappointing ring and let your fiancé know how hurt you are that he would attempt to fool you. Mature adults who plan on a commitment will be better off openly discussing the future and their budget.
You should carefully weigh the pros and cons of continuing in a romantic relationship with a male exhibiting, in my opinion, anti-social behavior with narcissistic tendencies. But, hey, what do I know?
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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