Well, she’s at it again – Lisa, that is. No, not Lisa Simpson, I’m talkin’ ‘bout Lisa from Spectrum, a robot who calls me day and night nearly every day, wanting me to upgrade my Internet service.
Only problem is I don’t have any kind of service from Spectrum because I have Frontier phone and WiFi service. But, Lisa, the “bot,” doesn’t seem to care, even when I press 9 to discontinue her annoying calls, she just keeps calling, and even called at 5 a.m. the other day. I even told this lonely “bot” that I’d report her to the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) and the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) but she, it, or whatever doesn’t seem to care.
I’m not sure how she got ahold of my number; she must just call phone numbers at random. Why, I haven’t received annoying calls in the middle of the night since I was a teacher, and that’s why, to this day, I still have a private, unlisted phone number.
Hello, how are you? Have you been alright through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights? That’s what I’d say. I’d tell you everything if you’d pick up that telephone, yeah yeah, yeah. (“Telephone Line” – Electric Light Orchestra – 1976)
And Lisa’s not the only bot that calls. There’s also the bot who calls, day and night, and says he’s from my television service. When I ask which television service he’s from, he just hangs up on me. But wait, that’s not all, I also get calls from actual well-meaning humans who want to sell me solar panels, and I have to explain to them that I already have solar panels. Then there’s this guy that keeps calling me Dooglas who wants to buy my house.
Do you get these annoying phone calls, too, or is it just me? Please raise your hand if you do. Really? That’s what I thought. I wish all these unsolicited phone calls were only a dream and I long for the day these bots and robotic like humans fade out of view.
Hey, how ya feelin’? Are you still the same? Don’t you realize the things we did were all for real, not a dream. I just can’t believe they’ve all faded out of view, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh-woo-ooh-ooh-ooh, doo-wop, doo-be-doo-doo-wop, doo-wah, doo-lang.
I don’t know why I’m complaining here; perhaps I should write a letter to Dear Sidney… yes, that’s just what I’m gonna do, you’ll see!
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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