I’m pulling my hair out right now. In fact, I may just snip off my long white ponytail and call it quits. We don’t have a cell phone by choice, but today may be the day that I pull the plug on the landline.
What is with all these darned Internet, TV cable, solar and other companies that think it’s A-OK to call my unlisted phone number day and night and even in the dark of dawn? I tell them that I already got cable, solar, Internet, whatever, but they pay no mind. They just keep talking.
And they’re robots, right? Annoying Artificial Intelligence. And that darned cop that begs for money for some police something or other. You can talk over him and he doesn’t stop; he just keeps going.
I do remember the party line back when I was a teenager. That could be fun, listening to the neighbors gossip. But we’ve come a long way from the good ole times. I yearn for the day when all these unsolicited phone calls vanish. I wouldn’t mind if they had the guts and the gumption to walk the neighborhood and talk to me face-to-face at my front door. I might invite them in for a brandy, if it was snowing.
Any advice to calm this old fella down?
Incognito in the Forest
Dear Incognito,
Why are you answering the phone every time it rings? I’m suspicious.
I have a landline only for emergencies. I haven’t heard it ring for over three years. My cell phone is another matter. Suspected Spam is my favorite contact. But the Android warns me of such and I’m able, supposedly, to block that number from harassing me any longer.
As much as you grumble, it seems to me that your main method of socializing is by attempting to strike up a conversation with a robot that insists on calling you even before the rooster crows. Somehow I am imagining that your phone has no buttons, just a big fat dial, and is permanently cemented to the wall in your kitchen.
However, may I suggest that you utilize Caller I.D. and stop picking up the receiver? Stop playing cat and mouse with the Spectrum rep and let all calls go straight to VM. That’s voice mail, which I fear you have never set up.
We’re having some very nice weather up on the mountain, which I am also suspicious of. I’m not getting lulled into any complacency. Heck, no. I’m bringing a full cord of wood and a case of bourbon into the house right now.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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