My mother is continuing to ruin my life. It’s like a sickness. She wants to control everything I do, say, or think.
I am not a teenager; I’m 35 years old and for the first time in love and want to get married. Of course, she has nothing good to say about my fiancé. She insists on putting him down. He’s 20 years older than me, married three times, and the father of four grown children. His two sons are serving time, but that’s not his fault, because he hasn’t seen them since he left that family when they were young boys. His daughters live in Hawaii, so they won’t be a problem.
Mom and I have lived together alone ever since my third birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese when dad got drunk on red wine and drove away in our station wagon and never came back. So I get why she is down on men, but she’s sabotaging my only chance for happiness.
He’s out of work right now, but we plan on staying with my mom and paying her some rent and stuff. She’s 70 and I’m not leaving her alone. However, he’s allergic to cats, real bad, and Mom’s got five cats, so they’ll have to be rehoused. Is that what you call it? And I promised Mother that we wouldn’t smoke pot in the house or gut fish in her kitchen sink, but she’s determined to spoil everything, as usual.
So how do I get what I want and keep them both happy?
Bride-to-Be in Twin Peaks
Dear Bride-to-Be,
You seem to have abandonment issues going on, along with your codependent nature and drug use, which brings paranoia into the equation. But no matter how messed up you are, do you really want to trade your Mom’s five devoted felines for a big time loser?
Bless your heart. Stop trying to keep others happy. Make yourself happy. Remember, the boys in the pen will be out someday and Hawaii—to which I’m sure you’ve never been—is not that far away, just a five-hour non-stop to Ontario airport at the bottom of the mountain and another 45 minutes to your front door.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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