Well, here it is half past three on Saturday, June 1, a full half-hour past the predicted “End of Times,” and I’m still here. How about you? That’s what I thought…looks like we got burned again. I can’t say I’m surprised, though. This hasn’t been the first time some whack job has predicted the end of the world, and it probably won’t be the last.
In this case the whack job is the all-seeing, all-knowing seer, Nostradamus, who predicted pestilence, the plague and a great earthquake that would destroy the planet, Royal Family discord and civil war. Having watched The Civil War movie that’s been playing at local theaters lately (too bad we don’t have a local theater anymore), where the White House and Congress are taken over by dissidents, I wouldn’t put it past some group to do that…as a matter of fact, it’s already been tried.
Dummy with the rapture and the reverend and the right, right. Vitriolic, patriotic, stand, fight, bright light. Feeling pretty psyched, it’s the end of the world as we know it, it’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. (“It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” – REM – 1987)
So, just on the off-chance it was for real this time, I was sitting here watching CNN, fully expecting Anderson Cooper to be beamed up to the “Pearly Gates,” but it never happened, Then I switched over to FOX News, fully expecting to see Hannity descending into the fiery pits of h-e-double hockey sticks. (I didn’t want to say hell, cause children could be reading this).
People who follow this kind of nonsense are like sheep, blindly following some kooky cult leader (Jim Jones and David Koresh instantly come to mind) who orders them to drink some “special” Kool Aid, or just shoots them with a pledge to lead them to the Promised Land…undoubtedly, the same folks who believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that man walked this planet with the dinosaurs.
Had I actually thought the world was going to end last Saturday, I would have headed to Disneyland because, needless to say, on my way down to the “Happiest Place on Earth,” I would have made stops at Rosa Maria’s to pick up some of their renowned Garbage Burritos and at See’s to load up with five-pound boxes of their dark chocolate molasses chips.
You know, you work your fingers to the bone all your life…and for what? It’s like my dear old pappy used to say, “Son, life is hard, and then you die.” So, I guess the key lesson here is to live your life to the fullest extent possible. Enjoy each day as if it’s your last…it very well could be.
It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fine.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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