I’m up to HERE with the village tradesmen or, rather, the village idiots.
Sure, I don’t expect my boyfriend to show up on time or call when he’s going to be late, but I do expect the bricklayer I’m overpaying to be here when he says he’ll be here! Really, the electrician spends more time texting me his excuses than he does splicing my wires, and the welder is dysfunctional and totally dyslexic.
I’m finally at the point in my long, tiring life where I can easily afford the help, but I can’t get a hand job on my two-story white vinyl siding with Dawn soap? “No, ma’am, we only power wash with a hose and water.” What?
Then there is yard maintenance, which I’ve kept up for 15 years. Alas, they only whack the weeds; nobody pulls them out by the roots anymore! And on top of that, my carefully pulled weeds have to be hauled on over to Mountain Disposal, because they refuse to pick up the bags from my driveway anymore, while they raise their rates.
On top of all that, in my old age I can afford the very best gin, vodka, bourbon and fine wines, but I chose this month to go on the wagon! Day 15 is coming up. Have pity on my blind and deaf old dog.
Sidney, how can we turn this around? How do we instill our prehistoric work ethics onto these miserable examples of modern slackery?
Disappointed in Crestline
Dear Disappointed,
Not condoning their lack of responsibility, these tradesmen may be overwhelmed with promised work, contracted work, unfinished work and the time-honored Honey Do List.
You know, taking on too much can lead to burnout and a longing to escape, which apparently is a trend here on the mountain and which may be why the owners of the Bear Claw saloon are celebrating 10 successful years under their management. Sadly, the well-trained and dependable skilled worker is a dying breed, so to speak.
From experience, my one piece of advice is to hire a licensed general contractor to be in charge of all the trades: painters, carpenters, plumbers, electricians, masons, etc. Let him or her be the whipping boy. Then you will have only one person to yell at while he earns his 10-percent fee (above the actual cost) for handling the jobs.
I find your pulling of weeds by their roots exemplary. Can you pop by and take care of the east side of my cabin before the County of San Bernardino comes by to inspect? Thanks in advance.
Sidney
Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.
This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
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