Dear Sidney – 04/11/2024

Jul 8, 2024 | Dear Sidney

 I’m 11 years old and I’m already five feet ten inches tall. Everybody thinks I’m in high school, but I’m still in sixth grade. Even my mom, who is five feet tall, questions just where I came from.

Dad wants to sign me up for a girl’s summer basketball team, but Mom thinks that volleyball could be the future for me. Me, I want to sit on my bed with earphones on, my cat in my lap and write a novel about a little girl trapped in a woman’s body.

None of the above is a big problem for me. The problem is that I’m wildly attracted to my chiropractor. Mom takes me there once or twice a week to keep my spinal cord in place, because I’m growing so fast, and she doesn’t want me slumping over. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I mean, I’ve never had a boy touch me anywhere, you know.

I’m embarrassed of the feelings I get when the handsome doctor lifts my hips. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to, but he’s got me daydreaming of our destination wedding at the San Moritz Lodge.

Is this normal? Or is my fascination for a much older man out of the box for a growing sixth grader? 

Blushing in Blue Jay

Dear Blushing,

Puppy love at any age is perfectly normal. However, keeping this unrequited love under your belt is certainly recommended. Trust me, this too shall pass.

Chin up, stomach in, shoulders back and down. You’ve got this, young lady.

P.S. I strongly suggest that Mom always be in the examination room with you two lovebirds.

Sidney

Send your questions for Sidney to Sidney@thealpinemountaineer.com or by snail mail to Dear Sidney, The Alpine Mountaineer, P.O. Box 4572, Crestline, CA 92325.

This advice is intended for entertainment purposes only. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.

 

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