I know you’re gonna think I’m crazy (many people already do), but did you know that you can rent a goat, or even a herd of goats, to rid your property of weeds and brush?
It’s true, there’s a company in San Diego that will rent you a herd of goats to create defensible space around your home, which is what all of us should be doing, now that the weeds and brush have all dried out and just what the San Manuel Band of Mission Indians has done for several years on the hillside above Arrowhead Springs near the end of Old Waterman Canyon Road.
And-a-now, here is an important message from Smokey Bear: “Only you can prevent forest fires.” Thanks Smokey.
Excuse me for the interruption, now where were we? Oh yes, goats. The company also provides fencing to keep the goats from wandering. Hey, we don’t need goats (especially Stevie Nicks) wandering around the endless homeless encampments at Wildwood Park and lining the sidewalks along 40th Street in San Bernardino or wandering down to the Railroad Depot on Third Street, for that matter.
There was a man, now please take note, there was a man who had a goat. He loved that goat; indeed, he did, just like a kid. One day that goat was feeing fine, ate three red shirts right off the line. His master came and beat his back and tied him to a railroad track.
I know this song is kinda weird (not as weird as Al Yankovic), but do you know how difficult it is to find songs about goats? After hours of scouring the World Wide Web, I was only able to come up with two bonafide goat songs, this one and “The Lonely Goathead” from The Sound of Music, which you might just like if you’re really into yodeling, like our little buddy, Bernie, who’s tipping his hat on the front page of this newspaper. Ha, ha, made you look.
Getting back to goats for weed control, a few years ago the Northern California community of Nevada City launched a “Goat Fund Me’ campaign to raise $30,000 to rent a herd of goats to protect their Sierra foothills town of over 3,000 people. Noting that 200 goats can plow through an acre each day, City Manager Catrina Olson said booking a herd of goats runs between $500 and $1,500 an acre.
This is not a new idea, folks. According to our resident historian, Rhea-Frances Tetley, in the 1940s, when there was a manpower shortage during the war, the San Bernardino National Forest used goats to clear vegetation from the forest floor to create firebreaks. And here’s the rest of the story of “Old Man Hogan’s Goat.”
The whistle blew, the train grew nigh, the poor goat knew that he must die. He gave three mortal shrieks of mortal pain, coughed up the shirts and flagged the train.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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