Well, it won’t be long before it’s Christmas. Nothing says Christmas better than a beautiful Douglas fir Christmas tree. It won’t be a very tall one, though. I figure about three or four feet will do, since it will likely cost about a hundred bucks… that’s inflation for you. Okay, go ahead and call me a cheapskate. Hey, call me anything you want, just don’t call me late for dinner, eh (Bet you didn’t know I also speak Canadian). Some merchants have got the upper hand, this year. All they care about is the profit.
Deck the halls with advertising, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Profit never needs a reason, Fa, la, la, la, la, la. Get the money, it’s the season. Fa, la, la, la, la. La, la, la. Well, what do you know, it’s mean old Mr. Scrooge.
Hey, Scrooge, how about some advice on holiday gift buying? Sure, Uncle Mott, let me show you how to make Christmas work for you. (Chorus) We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas…and please buy our beer. (“Green Christmas – Stan Freeburg – 1958)
By the way, I’m not talking about our local merchants. They can’t help it if stuff costs more and more every year, so don’t let that stop you from shopping locally. However, sometimes you need to get stuff that you can’t find up here; like, for instance, a new television or a copier that works, unlike mine. So, I went shopping down the hill the other day and, guess who I ran into? Yep, it was mean old Scrooge and good old Bob Cratchit, and I happened to hear what they were talking about.
Cratchit: I guess you fellows will never change. Scrooge: Why should we? Christmas has two s’s in it and they’re both dollar signs. Cratchit: Yeah, but they weren’t there to begin with. The people keep hoping you’ll remember, but you never do. Scrooge: Remember what? Cratchit: Whose birthday we’re celebrating. Don’t you realize Christmas has a significance, a meaning? Scrooge: A sales curve. Wake up, Cratchit, it’s later than you think.
(Chorus) On the first day of Christmas the advertising is there. with newspaper ads, billboards, too, business cards and commercials on a pear tree… Jingles here, jingles there, jingles all the way. Dashing through the snow in a fifty-foot coupe. O’er the fields we go, selling all the way. Deck the halls with advertising, what’s the use of compromising, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la.
I don’t reckon I’ll be doing any shopping down the hill this year. I like to keep all the wealth up here, a real Green Christmas, not the one envisioned by Mr. Freburg, so remember to Shop on Top.
Keep it flyin’,
UncleMott
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