Well, here I am a day late and a dollar short…Um, well, OK, so I’m a month late and still a dollar short for celebrating Valentine’s Day. However, I did get the Missus a giant, heart-shaped box of dark chocolate… “Mmmm, chocolate!” (Homer Simpson – “Krusty Gets Busted” – Season 1, Episode 12 of The Simpsons)
My doctor (Dr. Ima Kwak) tells me that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is heart healthy because the flavonoids widen your blood vessels, thus reducing the threat of a heart attack or stroke. Even better, Kwak said, is red wine, which also reduces the risk of having a stroke or heart attack. With this in mind, I went down to Sycamore Ranch Vineyard and Winery in Dart Canyon and picked up a bottle of my favorite Syrah.
OK, so my wife is not only allergic to chocolate, but she never drinks alcoholic beverages…but I do, so I got her something else, a really practical gift, a brand spankin’ new ironing board. In a few days, I should recover from the lump on my head she gifted me with…Some women just don’t know a good thing when they see it…. Hrrummf!
It’s almost as bad as the Valentine’s Day present I got her last year when I got her something more practical – a shiny new red snowblower.
My funny valentine, sweet, comic valentine. You make me smile with my heart, yet you’re my favorite work of art. Don’t change a hair for me, not if you care for me, stay little valentine, stay. Each. Day is Valentine’s Day. (“My Funny Valentine” – Frank Sinatra – 1954)
Take it from me, if you’re a guy, don’t get your gal a fancy, a brand spankin’ new ironing board for Valentine’s Day. And, if you’re a gal, don’t get your guy shiny, new earrings…unless, of course, he’s into that sort of thing.
In the meantime, me and the Missus plan on having a romantic Mardi Gras Day at the San Moritz Lodge on March 1. I will handle the wine tasting; she might like to have a bottle of Sprite.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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