Last week’s Oscar Award show seems to have caught me off guard, since there were very few films and performers that I’ve ever heard of, not that I would have wanted to see them in the first place. In the second place I rarely have the time or desire to watch movies on the big screen or on TV because I spend most of my time going to events and interviewing people, taking photos and then writing about them. Not to mention trying to be whimsical when writing my weekly column, like what I’m trying to do right now. What do you mean I’m not funny? OK, so I’m funny looking.
I do have to admit, however, that Mikey Madison and Zoe Saldaña were both hot and TV funnyman Conan (Carrot Top) O’Brien was not. The last movies I saw on the big screen were last year’s Bob Marley: One Love, and before that it was Top Gun: Maverick and A Quiet Place 2, the latter of which I only went to see so I could get some decent movie theater popcorn. “Would you mind layering this with extra butter? Thank you, Ma’am!” But the best movie I ever saw was 2001: A Space Odyssey, which I went to see many times.
OK, so I’m getting a little off-track here, since this is supposed to be about television (the idiot box) shows. What ever happened to all the good shows like Leave It To Beaver, The Twilight Zone, MASH and Hogan’s Heroes? Actually. I do know what happened to the aforementioned TV shows; they’re now on KAZA (Channel 54) on weekday evenings. Other than those, Big Bang Theory is quite whimsical, although the canned laughter sounds kinda’ phony.
So, here’s the problem, I’m paying this satellite TV company over $100 a month for over a thousand channels, 90 percent of which are infomercials for mindless products that I would never need or use, like this revolutionary new gadget that slices, dices, chops and minces (How does one mince, anyway?). Besides, isn’t that what God invented kitchen knives for in the first place? “And, if you call in the next 15 minutes, we’ll throw in another one absolutely free.” What they forget to mention is that the outrageous shipping charges are not free.
Last summer, this satellite company, whose name I shan’t mention for fear they might Direct me to the nearest courthouse, took away KTLA Channel 5 for several months. And, to add insult to injury, they failed to lower the amount I paid for their shrinking service, which back in the day (to quote a certain mattress salesman) was freeee! Man, was FCC Chairman Newton Minow ever right back in 1961when he declared television a “Vast Wasteland.”
And now we interrupt this broadcast to bring you a message from folksinger John Prine, who summed it up best when he sang, Blow up your TV, go to the country, build you a home. Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches, try and find Jesus on your own. (“Blow Up Your TV” – John Prine – 1971)
Keep it flyin,’’
Uncle Mott
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