This week, let’s look at the lighter side of real estate. We all need a bit of levity – especially in a profession that often takes itself way too seriously. So, with respectful apologies to my peers, and a wink toward today’s overblown headlines, I present: Words and phrases in real estate listings that should be taxed… heavily.
Let’s start with the classics. “Cozy” translates to small. So small. It’s basically a human hamster cage with a mortgage. “Charming” means it’s old. Possibly haunted. But by adorable ghosts… with character. “Won’t last!” is an attempt to manufacture urgency, because we know you’ve been scrolling Zillow like it’s your part-time job. “Priced to sell!” often means it’s priced 50 thousand over market, but that phrase makes it feel like a deal. “Great bones” is code for “needs a full gut.” You’re buying a skeleton. “Needs TLC” means it needs bulldozing. And therapy. Mostly for you.
Then there are the overused catchphrases that deserve an automatic fine every time they are imported into a real estate listing: nestled, serene, tranquil and hidden gem. These words have been so thoroughly overworked they’ve lost all meaning. They’re the cottage cheese of listing language – bland, mushy and everywhere.
Want to see it all in action? Here’s a sample listing stitched together from the worst offenders:
“Nestled in a serene, up-and-coming mountain enclave, this charming 3 bed, 2 bath hidden gem offers rustic elegance with artisan touches throughout. Enjoy breathtaking views from the sun-drenched living room or entertain in the inviting, open-concept chef’s kitchen, complete with quaint cabinetry and picture-perfect finishes. The spa-like primary bath features tranquil vibes. With great bones and endless potential, this vintage retreat is priced to sell and won’t last! Whether you’re seeking a cozy weekend getaway or a full-time escape, this turnkey home delivers mountain magic with just a hint of modern touches. Schedule your showing today!”
Sound familiar? Of course it does. We’ve all written it. Including me.
But fellow agents, I hope you’re laughing and nodding along, because yes – we’re all guilty of falling into these word traps. And to the public? I know you’d love to see a tariff on this kind of copy, if only to make your Zillow doom-scrolling a little more entertaining.
Here’s the real takeaway: Real estate isn’t about buzzwords and filters. It’s about connection, communication and a little personality. So, when you’re choosing an agent, find someone who knows the business – and also knows how to make the experience more human.
If you’d like to learn more about the current local market conditions, reach out to Theresa Grant, Real Estate Broker (DRE #01202881), at Theresa@HomesInLakeArrowhead.com. You can also follow on social: Instagram, @theresagrantrealtor | YouTube: @theresagrantrealtor. Theresa is a Broker Associate with REAL Broker Technologies.
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