Nothing is more irritating to me than ants invading my kitchen pantry and getting into my Honey Smacks and Frosted Flakes. Although, the song “Who Let The Dogs Out” comes pretty close, as does “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” It happens like clockwork following a rainstorm or summertime heat wave.
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb, and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! (“The Ants Go Marching” – A traditional children’s song dating back to who knows when)
I started out spraying them with Windex, which is not as poisonous as Raid and stops the little devils in their tracks. It’s also good for zapping spiders and flies and other annoying bugs. First, I removed all the bags, boxes and cans of food from the kitchen cupboards, then sprayed them with Windex, which worked for a few days, and then they started coming back.
So, I brought out the big guns and made a trail around the whole outside perimeter of the stately Motley Manor. I like to call it “The Trail of Tears” and they fell for it hook, line and sinker. When they saw me coming, they screamed, in four-part harmony, “Raid!!!” And then they dropped dead, for a while anyway because, when I got back inside the manor, I found they had brought in reinforcements – another platoon of ants – lapping away at Albert’s Fancy Feast cat food.
Albert, who by the way is a cat, was none too pleased and left the building to go hunting for mice, which he likes better than store-bought cat food. Only problem there is that he leaves the remains of his prey on the front doorstep, which attracts even more ants.
I guess I will have to call an actual exterminator (Burkitt’s Bugs) and have them send Kroft to do battle with the little pests.
The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marching two by two, the little one stops to tie his shoe and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Keep it flyin’
Uncle Mott
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