Most of us remember the phrase, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.” It worked because it turned an uncomfortable conversation into an act of friendship. The same idea applies to estate planning.
Our friends are often among the most important people in our lives. Some are practically family. The people who show up when we need them and would be there immediately if something went wrong. Yet we rarely think about encouraging those same people to protect themselves and their families with an estate plan.
Estate planning can be difficult to bring up. No one wants dinner conversation to suddenly sound like, “So, what happens when you die?” But it doesn’t have to be morbid. It can simply be another way of looking out for someone you care about.
Why do people put it off? Most people without an estate plan aren’t irresponsible. They simply think they have more time. Some believe estate planning is only for wealthy people. Others are uncomfortable talking about death or incapacity. And many simply don’t know where to begin.
But estate planning is about much more than how much money you have. It answers important questions: Who can manage your finances if you cannot? Who can make health care decisions for you? Who receives your property? And, if you have minor children, who would care for them?
Without planning, California law and the courts may provide answers that are very different from what you would have chosen.
How do you start the conversation? You don’t need a perfect script. Life events often provide a natural opening. A marriage, new baby, home purchase, divorce, death of a parent or even a friend’s experience with probate can lead naturally to: “Have you ever thought about getting your estate plan done?”
If you have completed your own estate plan, sharing your experience may be even easier. You might simply say, “I finally finished mine, and I feel much better knowing everything is organized and my family knows what to do.”
Another good question is: “If something happened to you tomorrow, would your family know what to do and who has authority to help you?”
That question shifts the conversation away from death and toward protecting the people we love.
More than a will: A comprehensive estate plan may include a trust or will, powers of attorney, an advance health care directive, beneficiary planning and instructions for managing assets. Just as importantly, it creates a roadmap for the people who may someday need to step in.
Without that roadmap, family members may find themselves searching for accounts, trying to determine what their loved one wanted, or even going to court to obtain authority to act—all while grieving.
Referring a friend to an estate planning attorney isn’t about selling them something or telling them what to do. It is simply saying, “I care about you and I don’t want your family to be left figuring this out during a crisis.”
So, the next time estate planning comes up in conversation, don’t be afraid to say something.
Friends look out for friends. And sometimes that means making sure the people we love have a plan in place before they need one.
STop of Formend your questions to ccolan@colanlegal.com and use “Alpine Mountaineer estate planning question” as the subject. We’ll answer your questions in our upcoming issues.This article is provided by your local estate planning attorney, Corina Colan. The Law Office of Corina I. Colan / (909) 265-3315 / www.colanlegal.com
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