Wudaya know, here it is November and do ya know what’s weird? I mean, besides Al Yankovic. What’s really weird is these last two weeks. First, it’s Edison’s dang (scuse me fer cussin’ Mom) power outages. Then, they sez yes and then they sez no. Then, before ya know it, power’s out all over the dang (that word again) mountain for two days, tourists are runnin’ out of gas and they can’t get any cuz, without electricity, there is no gas to buy or steal.
When I look into your eyes, I can see a love restrained. Darlin’ when I hold you, don’t you know I feel the same, Yeah. Nothin’ lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change and it’s hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain. (“November Rain” – Guns & Roses – 1991)
But wait, there’s more. The next thing ya know, yer dang landline phone goes wacky and when ya dial a number…Do they still have dials? Of course not, they have dang buttons. But here’s the problem, no matter whether I dial a local or long-distance number, a little voice comes on and tells me yer long-distance service has been disconnected. “What the hey,” sez I, this has never happened before, so I call up the phone company (Frontier) and spend two hours complainin’ to an operator who reminds me of Ernestine who snorts and sez, “One ringy dingy, two ringy dingies,” and so on.
Well, this went on for two days and endless phone calls and didn’t end until I mentioned the FCC (Federal Communications Commission). The next day, I was able to make and receive phone calls…no problemo.
But wait, there’s more. The next day, I logged onto my computer, and I got a great big message on my screen that sez I have no Internet service. Oh, great, here we go again. So, I called the phone company again and explained my situation and the lady (not Ernestine, thank you) wrote a trouble ticket. So, I called the next day to tell them I still had no Internet service, and the lady said the problem had been fixed. Sorry, not so. And to think I used to work for the phone company…a different one.
So, I explained to another person in the fix-it department and the next day they sent out a real fix-it person and now it works great.
But wait, there’s more, all of this happened over a week ago. Now the danged phone still doesn’t work. I may as well string two beer cans together and use them instead.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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