It’s springtime and my cat, Albert, has been aching to go outside and enjoy this nice weather. Ya’ know when he wants to exit our home. (OK, who is trained here?) He just jumps up on the back of the couch and puts his furry paw on the door handle like he plans on turning it. Then he looks at me with those adorable kitty eyes and sez “OOT!”
He thinks he has places to go and others to see. He has things to say, too, so I automatically run to the door and turn the handle… yes … he has me trained (don’t they all?). He’s Prince Albert around here, and he isn’t stuck in a can… Let’s hear from him as he has a lot to say this fine spring day.
“And a hearty welcome to all of you Kats and kitties. Welcome to the exciting adventures of Albert the Kat. He is currently an ‘only’ cat, but it wasn’t always that way. It seems that my family has faced disaster over and over.
“I am an orphan, as my mother disappeared just as my eyes opened and I was rescued along with my brothers….and then I was adopted by this fine family, over three years ago, and named after a previous cat they loved and cherished for 18 years.
“I feel special to be named after him. My namesake, Albert the First, is now safely ensconced there in the southeastern Katzkill mountains of New York. Dang! (scuse me for cussin’) But, who would want to kill a kat? And why would they name an entire mountain range after Kat killers?
“I love to explore the out-of-doors in my beautiful San Bernardino Mountains, here.”
Oh, look who it is just a-waiting outside… Why, it’s Albert’s girlfriend, Zelda, from across the neighbor’s backyard.
Albert says, “Now, why don’t we stroll down to the neighbor’s fishpond and see if we can catch some of those golden fish?” After a while of him and Zelda sitting quietly staring into the pond, he finds a pretty shimering large one. He tries his best James Dean imitation, which doesn’t do anything at all for the fish. Zelda was not impressed at all. “Dang it,” says Albert. (Stop cussin’, Dude), but he is not ashamed, and he didn’t get her the fish either.
You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do, and it’s breakin’ my heart in two, because I never wanna see you sad, girl. (Cat Stevens from song Wild World, 1970)
“Anyhoo, why don’t we stroll down to Lake Gregory and see if we can catch some other kind of fish?” says Albert. Let’s see now, what other kinds of fish there are in the lake that they may be seeking? Raise your paws. How about you?
That question was a no-brainer, “Katfish,” no duh!
“Sucker,” I can’t believe you just said that… “Hey, a sucker is just another kind of fish!” sez Zelda But “I hope I made ya laugh, again, Zelda,” chuckle, chuckle, snicker, snort!
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world, it’s hard to get by just upon a smile, oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world, I’ll always remember you like a child, girl…Cat Stevens
Albert then sings a Jimi Hendrix song “The Catfish Blues” to Zelda: Well, I wish I was a katfish, swimming in the deep blue sea. I’d have all you pretty women, fishin’ after me.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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