Well, it won’t be long before Jolly old Saint Nick comes plunging down my chimney. Actually, I believe he will have one heck of a time plunging down my chimney. What I mean is that I’ve noticed that the jolly old elf has put on quite a few more pounds of late, if you know what I mean, and I mean that I’m pretty sure he would get stuck in my chimney.
Guess I’ll leave the back door unlocked and put out some cookies and milk for him, or her, if you know what I mean, and what I mean is that anyone who dresses up in that kind of garb could, well never mind. Anyway, I suppose I could leave out some rabbit food for Rudolph and the boys. As for me, I prefer eggnog, and I like it with some high-octane propellent.
So, I wuz drivin’ down the highway in the Mottmobile when I got pulled over by a member of the law enforcement establishment. “Uh, oh,” I thought to myself. I had best be very careful what I say to the gentleman. So, he comes swaggerin’ up to my car, flashin’ a ticket book and pen, so I rolled down the window and inquired, “What’s up Doc?” Then, he says, “Get out of the car, son, and no funny business.” So, I did what he asked, and then he said, “Would you mind reciting the alphabet backwards?” I said I’d do the best I can. But, first, I asked, “Shay occifer, are you tryin’ to shay I’m under the affluence if inkahol?…hic.”
Let’s see, now there’s a z somewhere, and next comes j, followed by c, y, d and v. So, then I sez, “How did I do occifer…uh sir? So, he commences to say, “Why you passed with flying colors, son, have a nice day and keep driving responsibly.” That wuz a close call, I thought to myself, as I wuz about to cry.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town. (“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” – Michael Bublé – 2011)
Well, it’s time to go shopping for Christmas presents. Think I’ll head up to Lake Arrowhead Village to shop on top, like I already promised to do. David likes toys, so I picked out a Bob Ross Chia Pet for him and a fancy new vacuum cleaner for the Missus. I hope she enjoys using it. I gotta go now and finish writing my list.
He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he gonna find out who’s naughty and nice, Santa Claus is coming to town.
Keep it flyin’,
Uncle Mott
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